Rumors abound, but after almost a decade, there is still no sign of a Bloodborne port. The FromSoft masterpiece remains a PlayStation exclusive, locked to 30 fps and unavailable to everyone without a Sony console. Fans have spent years begging on social media, to no avail. So, I thought I’d try my hand, and offer five very compelling, very specific reasons why Sony should port Bloodborne to PC.
1 – My wife wants to use the TV
Turns out there’s a season of Great British Bake Off on Netflix she never watched, so there’s no way I’m going to be able to use the PlayStation 4. I’d move it from the living room, but the thing is ensconced deep in our TV cabinet, its wires joining the rest of the jumble back there to form a Gordian Knot I couldn’t untie if I wanted to. No, I can’t use Remote Play, 30fps is low enough, thank you.
Some say what Mary Berry saw on the “Yummy Yharnam” episode is what led to her leaving the show
2 – Money can be exchanged for goods and services
Don’t you want money, Sony? I know you probably sit around laughing like FromSoft NPCs at the daily posts from people who don’t own PlayStations, begging for you to port some of your exclusives. I get it, gatekeeping is fun. And sure, you have every right to want to punish people who won’t buy one of your glorified Blu-ray players. But did you know you could make money with a port, that you could use that money to, I dunno, make some more exclusives or something?
“Aw, an opportunity to sell more copies of a popular PlayStation exclusive? I wanted money!”
3 – People don’t argue enough on Reddit about which game is best
As anyone who has spent time on /r/fromsoft or any of the FromSoft game-specific subreddits can tell you, one of the favorite pastimes of FromSoft fans is crowing that their favorite is the best one, objectively you guys, like it’s a fact. But many PC gamers haven’t been able to play BB, and therefore aren’t able to bring it up apropos of nothing in threads about Sekiro, Dark Souls, or Elden Ring. By allowing more gamers to experience the magic of Bloodborne, we’d have that many more people derailing debates about how unfair the latest Elden Ring DLC bosses are with “Orphan was better” comments.
4 – We’ll have another excuse to make fun of people who play 3rd person action games on a keyboard
Just as there are people who don’t like music, or don’t enjoy ice cream, there are people who try to pretend it’s acceptable to play FromSoft games on a keyboard. Obviously, it’s a matter of preference — and obviously if you don’t like music, ice cream, or playing Dark Souls on a gamepad, your preference is wrong.
Don’t you dare
5 – I can’t play this freaky ass game in the living room
OK, my wife is done watching Bake Off for tonight, but now she keeps making disgusted noises every time I critical strike the huge pig enemies. What do you mean “Why would I do that”? It’s a visceral attack so it does bonus damage and gives me extra blood echoes! I need to do this in the privacy of the other room. Where my computer is. Please, Sony.
It knows what’s coming
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DanielD
Unabashed FromSoftware fanboy still learning to take his time with games (and everything else, really). The time he doesn't spend on games is spent on music, books, or occasionally going outside.
